*Martin*: So, how are you doing?
*Chicken*: Where's my body? I'm just words now. This is crazy. Am I dead?
*Martin*: Come on, pull yourself together. Your body will be fine when I start drawing it again. Unless I decide to draw it with a limb missing or an axe in the head or something. Which ... I just realized must have sounded terrifyingly threatening. I didn't mean to threaten you, actually I meant to comfort you but ... damn, I suck at this. What am I even doing? I'm not a deity or anything like that, I ...
*Chicken*: What do you mean, you're not a deity? To me you seem an awful lot like a deity. Did you create me or not?
*Martin*: Well, yes, I created you but do we really need to put so much weight on that? I mean, that imbalance of power can really get in the way of having a conversation on eye level. Just tell me what it is you want to know.
*Chicken*: Well, what do you think I want to know? My life has gone miserable to a point where I wanted to kill myself and when I finally did, you constructed a whole hero's journey inside my own head, just to get my love for that one bird to save me, and when I thought that it's finally the turning point you took that bird away from me! Why do you make me suffer like this? I mean, I guess this is a comic so the goal must be entertainment somehow, but do you really think watching me go through all that suffering is entertaining?
*Martin*: Well, yes.
*Chicken*: Oh, come on!
*Martin*: No, I really do. Suffering is a big part of life and it is for me just as much as it is for you. I deal with my own suffering by projecting it onto my creations to better deal with it. Last time I did that to Parrot, they created the whole lemon squirrel and lemon bunny thing which was a great deal of fun. You're just taking it too seriously.
*Chicken*: What the ... I'm taking this too seriously?! How about you taking this more seriously? Doesn't being a deity come with responsibilities or anything like that???
*Martin*: I told you, I'm not a deity. I'm a guy who draws a web comic as a hobby. My only responsibility is entertaining my very few but very wonderful readers ... and myself I guess. By being my creation, that same responsibility is yours. If you're making this boring by taking it too seriously, you're failing your one true purpose.
*Chicken*: I'm ... sorry. I got angry for a moment, forgetting that I'm literally talking to my creator who has now revealed my one true purpose to me. My life will never be the same.
*Martin*: Shit, there's that power imbalance again, making everything awkward. You have every right to be angry. I'm also angry about how things are sometimes. That's life. But I don't want you to leave this conversation feeling frustrated. So I'll tell you something which I think could make future events more interesting: You and that vulture you love so much are made for each other. I can say that with absolute certainty, because it's my call to make. They're happy with that other vulture, but not nearly as happy as they'd be with you. Now you have absolute certainty. Do with that what you want.
*Chicken*: Oh wow! Thank you so much. I don't know what to say ...
*Martin*: No need to thank me, just let us not make a habit out of this, please. I don't intend to have a direct conversation with you or any other character ever again. Don't "pray" to me, don't ask for "miracles", just don't bother me, ok?
*Chicken*: Understood. Can I just ask you one more question, please?
*Martin*: What is it?
*Chicken*: Can you make a rock that you yourself can't lift?
*Martin*: No, but I can certainly buy one at the hardware store. Good bye.
