I already wrote some time ago that I’m getting more and more bothered by the lack of audience I have on this site. I know this audience doesn’t magically manifest itself, the world never worked like that. I just couldn’t bring up the courage to do something about it. Actively going out there and promoting myself feels incredibly daunting. Nevertheless, I recently convinced myself (with the help of some friends) that I might try posting about my comics on Reddit. Just a little post here and there, just to get some feedback. It felt so innocent at the time, like, what’s the worst that could happen?
So I made an account, went to r/webcomics and created a post about an older comic I think is quite funny and doesn’t require any knowledge about the characters and the universe. I wrote a little text about how it is my first post and that people can check out this site if they want to. It was stressful, but I finally managed to click the post button … and the post was immediately auto-removed because I didn’t have any “karma”. The message from the bot read that I could contact the moderators to get it approved, so I did that, throwing in a few extra words about how much it would mean to me to have it approved.
But at that moment I thought: “fine, maybe promoting an external site with your first post on a newly created account is a lot to ask”. So I went on a quest to look at posts on reddit and write some comments. I don’t really like to produce useless data garbage, so I feel uncomfortable with commenting if I don’t have anything valuable to add. I spent the best part of the day on this platform and wrote about a dozen comments. But you know what? The whole experience sucked. Most of the posts are just garbage, the algorithm kept serving me stuff I didn’t want to see and the comment sections (which I was forced to contribute to) were full of boring, predictable, comments. What a useless way to spend your time. This is why I don’t do social media.
But then some of my well thought out comments even got auto-deleted because my account is not old enough, all the while this whole ordeal granted me 17 karma and I have no idea what I would need to do better. If you are active on Reddit, you might be laughing your ass off at this point because that’s probably the typical rookie story of anyone trying to get into Reddit. But do me a favor and comb down your survivorship bias there because, if you are reading this for some reason, this is your chance to read a piece by a non-survivor. Maybe it will give you some insights on why this is a major problem for your platform and maybe you’d be less fond of systems like that.
Because it makes Reddit a platform for losers. Sorry to phrase it so provocative but that’s how it is. I don’t mind safeguards against spam. I don’t mind being careful about user generated content in a time where platforms can be held accountable for it. What I hate is that the rules are not clear and that you get told about it only after you put the time in. The most valuable asset I have is time. I don’t take lightly to anyone, or anything, treating my time with disrespect. And Reddit has done that like little else I have encountered. Why do you let me invest the time to write a post or a comment if I am not allowed to post it? How does anyone accept this, except if they are a low-life who doesn’t value their time?
You don’t have to lecture me, I understand full well why this happens. Reddit is moderated by volunteers and these are just the moderation tools they have available. They can have a bot that auto-deletes posts, they can’t have the post button be greyed out telling users what requirements they need to fulfill. But that is part of the problem. Reddit is run by volunteers but owned by people who are milking it for profit and that feeds even more into my thesis that it’s a platform for losers and low-lifes. Why would you let them do this to you? Why do you spend your time on a platform that abuses you like that? It’s all set up to generate content for profit and to pull users into endless cycles of doomscrolling.
But, you might say, all social media is like that. Yes, that’s why I don’t do social media. It is confusing to me how people get addicted to that, but hey, I also think cigarettes smell disgusting so what do I know. I always thought Reddit was different, that’s why I picked it to go out of my comfort zone. And it actually is different, just not in the ways I would have expected. It has all the bad parts of social media but for some reason it has made the good parts even less pleasant.
Anyways, looks like I won’t be posting about my comics on Reddit then. I was planning for this post to be a welcome message for anyone coming over from Reddit who was curious enough to check out my site. Guess nobody’s coming over from Reddit because I refuse to give up my dignity for a little exposure. Guess I’ll be alone, writing into the void. Guess the answer to “what’s the worst that could happen?” was “this”. I feel even more hopeless now, even more distressed at this world and how little I seem to belong in it. I hate this. And I know this is mostly a me-problem and I don’t blame anyone for it, but what am I supposed to do? Change who I am? People seem to agree that I shouldn’t do that but then proceed to tell me I could do things that conflict with who I am without changing who I am because they refuse to understand the conflict and I’m tired of explaining.
Remember when I told you that I value my time so highly? Yet, here I am, writing a post that nobody is going to read, crying my eyes out. But I’m writing it for the void because the void listens. The void accepts me the way I am without trying to change me. If I ever meet a soul mate, it has to be in the void. Because the void, despite its emptiness, is home.
