Have you ever caught yourself being angry at a friend, about to snap at them or send them an angry text, but then get scared and decide to let it all go? I certainly have, and it bothers me. These are lonely times and friends don't grow on trees after all. But are friends really just people who can stand you enough to spend time with you? Sure, you also help each other out when furniture needs to be moved, plants need to be watered, cats need to be fed or strawberry spider bits need to be purchased, but is that really "caring" for one another?
Let's play this through in our heads, shall we? What would happen if expressed you feelings to your friend and showed them that their actions made you really mad. Let's assume you do this in an appropriate way, i.e., not shouting at them, using swear words or any other form of mental or physical violence. At that point, the other person knows the extent to which their action has made you angry. They will be able to factor this into their decision when performing the action again. They might just change their behaviour, which would be a win. However, they are not obliged to. They might not agree with your assessment of the situation and maybe they can even clarify some facts that make you change your mind (if you're not open minded enough). Since you wouldn't be mad anymore, that would also be a win. Unfortunately, there is a third option, which is that they don't care. They don't care about making you mad, because they don't care about YOU. Finding that out about someone you called a friend would hurt. That's probably what you're scared of, since it would mean loosing a friend. But would it really be a friend you are loosing? Or would it be the the illusion of a friend, a hologram that you've been to scared to reach your hand into to see if it is actually real?
Let's summarize: We have three potential outcomes. One where they change for the better, one where you change for the better, and one where you learn that your friendship has been an illusion. But what if your friendship is not an illusion? Isn't it paradoxical to prevent something from growing more real for the fear of it not being real? Wouldn't you rather have friendships that you know are real, so the last case is no longer a thread and only mutually assured improvement remains?
