If you know me in real life, you know it's true. And I meant that not in this hipster I-need-my-south-himalayan-premium-dark-roast-with-gluten-free-oat-milk-and-extra-banana-spice kind of way. Im mean that in the give-me-coffee-as-long-as-it-is-dark-liquid-and-contains-caffeine-I-will-drink-it kind of way. Don't get me wrong, I can definitely tell a good cup of coffee from a bad one. I'm just so addicted I'll drink the bad one, too. Maybe I have a problem.
G is working on an exercise as H walks by.
H: You should really get another exercise partner for “Tedious Teamwork II”. Just because I passed and you didn’t, you shouldn’t work alone. You’ll just fail again!
G: Nah, don’t worry. My exercise partner is called “coffee”! Coffee is better than all those ducks I tried working with. Coffee will never leave me hanging, betray me, ignore me, screw me over or...
The coffee spills over G's papers. G is shocked, H is annoyed.