Sometimes it feels like life forces you to give up. I feel like I’m at that point once again, as I have been many times before. It’s when I contemplate why I’m doing what I’m doing and realize that I’m doing it to reach a goal that is unattainable, conflicting with other goals or simply not actually what I want anymore. People value tenacity, so giving up is usually seen as a defeat of sorts. Sometimes it’s valid to regard it as such, but everyone should probably know what I’m talking about. Didn’t you want to be an astronaut at some point? Or a fighter jet pilot? Maybe you wanted to become the president, be a rockstar or write a best selling novel. Everyone probably knows the feeling of giving up on their dreams.
But isn’t it a big part of our culture to tell people that they should follow their dreams? Didn’t all people who did anything remarkable in this world do so because they were following a dream and didn’t give up? So how pathetic would it be to tell people to give up on their dreams. Most people simply don’t have the guts to do what it takes. Most people simply fold at the first obstacle and become complacent. They simply accept mediocrity to avoid any kind of inconvenience. Only the strong ones who boldly take risks and are not afraid of failing will succeed at making their dreams a reality. If you stick to your dreams and be persistent and sacrifice everything for it you are destined to succeed because the universe somehow values effort and once it sees what a good, busy bee you are you will be rewarded. If you just keep running fast enough, that stick will magically shorten and the carrot that’s attached to it will float into your mouth and then everyone in the Starbucks will stand up and applaud you.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s not worth having dreams, on the contrary. But if you’re truly honest, did you ever think about *how many* dreams you have? All those people who we now remember for those remarkable things they did, don’t you think they had other dreams as well? What might have happened if they had followed some other dream? By the logic of “just follow your dreams” they would have been just as successful at the other thing, right? I hope I don’t have to tell you how ridiculous that is. Most of these people were at the right place at the right time, had the right idea, the right amount of resources and also probably quite a bit of luck. Doing something truly remarkable is hard, otherwise it wouldn’t be remarkable. Not everyone can do it by definition.
But maybe you don’t dream so big. That’s ok, the same logic applies. It’s something that’s difficult to achieve, else it wouldn’t be a dream but just something you’d like to do. To make it a reality requires tenacity but also focus. And focus is what people seem to forget about when they tell you to “follow your dreams” and “don’t give up”. How will you ever be able to achieve anything if you mindlessly follow all your dreams? Especially in a world where whole economies are built around selling you specific dreams that benefit them, isn’t it just as valuable to be able to set priorities? And isn’t it even more valuable to be able to adapt these priorities based on new information?
So here’s my advice to you: give up on your dreams if it feels right. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy and don’t let others tell you what to do. Changing your mind is not weakness, it’s adaptability, the core value of evolution. The world is constantly changing and it feels like it’s changing faster with every year that passes so why shouldn’t you too?
