I've had the impression that life is meaningless and there's no inherent reason for existence for quite some time now. My whole life I had the problem that I was unable to just believe things. Only recently I decided to finally attach the label "nihilist" to myself. I feel like nihilists aren't very highly regarded in society. Probably because there's some very annoying nihilistic characters and nihilist thoughts aren't exactly an uplifting experience. Searching online, you find reports about people "struggling" with nihilism and articles about how to "escape" nihilism. People seem to think that it's this dark place that people get lost in and need to be rescued from.
But I came to the realization that I just *am* a nihilist. It's not a phase and I'm not lost. I was born in this dark place and I live here. Although I don't consider it particularly pleasant, I don't want to move.
The prejudice and maybe even contempt for nihilists is something I'm worried about. I think the reason for it might be that some people are trying to be missionaries for nihilism. They might make fun of, or even show hate towards people who believe in something. I would never do that. Belief is a powerful gift that is incredibly useful in life. I would never want to take that away from others.
What makes me unhappy is not nihilism itself, but how rare people like me are. I would really love to meet someone, anyone, who was born in the abyss, just like me. If you read this and thought "hey, this sounds like me!", please reach out.
