So, how's the Nihilism thing working out?

Great! I have to say, I'm actually surprisingly well. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Since I decided to stop searching for meaning, I've been just enjoying myself. I feel a lot more calm and less stressed, even though I have quite a few reasons to be stressed.

I'll start a new job next month and have only this month left to really work on my dissertation, while I also need to prepare a conference presentation and multiple videos. Past me would have been close to a panic attack at this point.

Weirdly, thinking about how meaningless all of this is gives me a lot of peace. Past me would have looked at all the doctors, firefighters, spiritual leaders and social workers and get sad about how meaningless my work is, compared to theirs. But now I understand that theirs is just as meaningless as mine. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to belittle their work. I still admire them, for what they do *feels* very important and is certainly quite difficult. But ultimately, it is just as meaningless as humanity, life and this planet.

I should clarify another thing: In the previous paragraph, I emphasized feeling. That is because I now finally see the value in feelings. If everything is meaningless, feelings are the only guidance left. In the past, I wanted to control my feelings or even get rid of them. I now understand that they are a vital mechanism for my subconscious mind to communicate with me. Instead of trying to control my feelings, I am now trying to predict them. Maybe that is the only guidance I need.

Comic transcript

Panel 1:
The lemon squirrels are grieving their idols, lemon bunny and lemon squirrel, at an open grave.
Panel 2:
The two parrots are watching from the sidelines.
BP: I cannot believe you turned their beloved cultural icons into lemonade and then just left it at my place.
LS: I cannot believe we’ll have to burry an empty casket.
Panel 3:
BP: You might not have to. I kept some of that lemonade in the fridge. You could pour that into ...
Panel 4:
P: Wait! You did what?! Why didn’t you say so earlier? That contains their DNA! With that I can bring them back! Let’s go!