Are you ready to spend, spend, spend? Are you ready to show all the people you remotely care about that you remotely care about them, by buying them lots of cheaply made things they'd never want?

Oh, what was that? You're short on money? The pandemic, the war in Ukraine, inflation, anything else, or all of the above, have negatively impacted you financially? Well, tough luck, I guess Smartmas™ is not for everyone.

But hey, lighten up, at least its not like that old Christmas thing, where you actually need *love* to participate. That stuff's even harder to come by than money.

Panel 1:
In a console window:
tucant@hq>./santa.sh
Loading AI ...
done.
Initializing [100%]
SantaCloud™
Welcome.
Activate speech
interface? (Y/n)
y
Panel 2:
SantaCloud™ is talking to Tucan't
SC: HO HO HO! It’s time to prepare for Smartmas™! Are you as excited as I am to bring the spirit of consumerism to all those lazy people out there? The shareholders sure are. Let me get straight to work. Scanning wish lists ...
Panel 3:
SC:Wait a moment ... Tucan’t, what is this? You of all people should know wish-fulfillment- policies. You wrote them, after all.
The screen shows a letter from Tucan't, where they wish for nothing but the beautiful parrot.
Panel 4:
T: Yeah, I know. Section 124 (b): “Wishes for the appropriation of, or control over, other people may only be granted, if the difference in annual income is more then two orders of magnitude.” But, you know, I thought we could maybe change the policy a bit, by ...
Panel 5:
SC: I’m sorry Tucan’t. I can’t let you do this.
Panel 6:
SC: Irrelevant things, such as “love”, are not what Smartmas™ is about. It’s about sharing. Sharing data. With us! And making money. Lots of money! The joy of capitalism. Can’t you feel the Smartmas™ spirit?