Even though I make fun of it here, I actually quite like pen and paper. If you have not, I really encourage you to try it out.
Comic transcript
Panel 1:
Many birds are sitting around a table playing a pen and paper game. P is the game master.
G: I have to say that I never played this “Ditches and Daemons” before.
P: No problem. Just tell me what you want to do.
G: Ok. I want to attack. With an axe.
Panel 2:
P: Alright, let’s see. You’re fighting at daytime, it is not a full moon, the weather is so-so and Kiwi’s
character is wearing red. You hit the wormling if and only if:
complicated logical formula
If you hit, damage is calculated as follows:
very complicated formula containing a syntactically incorrect integral
Your opponent can strike back. This is impeded by the amulet of twenty seven cardboard boxes and your hostile attitude. Whether they manage to hit you anyways can be determined via:
absurdly complicated equation involving quantum mechanics
Panel 3:
G: I rolled a 4.
P: Then please roll a D12 next.
G: It’s a 2.
P: Hang on ... wait ... yes. You are dead. Sorry.